M7: Awe Walk

Our feeling of being in awe has deteriorated as we continue to age. That feeling over wonder and inspiration we once felt as a kid has continued to vanish as we continue to have a self-focused mindset to fixate on our own concerns. As a child, we glanced around our environment in a surprising fashion. Every step in our journey was an opening to a new wave of knowledge and enjoyment, creating the feeling of being in awe. Maybe as we rise in age we feel comfortable enough with our surroundings to where we feel the need to focus more on themselves rather than taking a step back to look at the big picture. This assignment of tapping back into my child sense of wonder to create that feeling of awe allowed me to view the much larger perspective of the life in which I'm living in. My first awe walk brought my to the Abilene zoo and my second took me through the downtown streets of San Antonio during fiesta. Each walk containing their unique differences but both trying to reach the same goal of feeling in awe.

The zoo has never failed to spark my interest and fascination. A place that allows me to escape from my everyday environment so I may view and interact with animals of great diversity. As a child I would get passes each summer to go to the zoo because I couldn't wait to have that awe feeling every time my sight latched on to the unimaginable. The reason I choose the zoo for my first walk was to catch that childlike feeling again, because no matter how old someone is, the sight of animals that are not in our everyday environment is a sight to see. My walk began as soon as I stepped through the gateway to enter the zoo. The cool breeze of the wind sifted off my skin, and light from the sun rise guided my path as I made my way through the zoo. Every step I took, I made sure to look both left and right to contain the full view of the wonderful creatures that were presented before me. Noticing the variety of colors along the birds feathers brightened my eyes. Hearing a parrot copy me after I said "hello", being able to feed a giraffe with just an ordinary piece of lettuce, hearing the roaring sound of a lion that appears directly in front of my face, all examples of moments that I will cherish forever for they left me in awe. After my walk through the zoo had ended, I took a step back to sit down and really take in the beauty the zoo offers. The diversity in wildlife has kept me in awe til this day and will continue to do so throughout my future.

Now for my second walk, I used the downtown streets of San Antonio due to a festival occurring during fiesta. Now I lived in San Antonio pretty much my whole life, but every time I go downtown I always seem to leave in awe based off my experience. Going into this walk, I identified it as a new experience due to me having no prior knowledge to going to this festival in past years. My walk began with the sight of vibrant colors and trees shading my path as I head down the street towards the main entrance of the festival. As I walk into the festival, I notice a variety of cultures among the population present. I see booths of food, art, games, and a variety of other products. I hear live music being performed with songs that are meant to help celebrate the Mexican culture fiesta portrays. Each step I take throughout the streets, I try to capture the beauty and elegance the city I call home presents. Every bite of food, every note that flows between my eardrums, every color that brightens my eye all contribute to the feeling of awe when I finally depart. These two walks really helped me see a larger perspective on the life I'm living as well as a chance to recapture the feeling of awe. No matter if I go to to visit somewhere new or maybe a place that once captured that feeling for me, I will make sure to implement this awe walk method.

M6: #CounselorsHelp

Today I'm going to be discussing with you a story of my friend who had a counselor turn their world upside down. For disclosure reasons, I'm going to call this person Chris.

To start off with Chris's background, he was socially awkward going into our freshman year of High School. I was one of his very few friends for we have been neighbors for a few years now. He was extremely close with his family for he rarely left his house to go hang out with friends or just plainly do anything out of his comfort zone. Unfortunately, his parents relationship wasn't as close as he hoped for, as they were constantly fighting with each other as he transitioned into High School. A conflict that not only infiltrated his home life but his life outside of home as well.

Ever since I knew Chris before high school, he had such a glow of joy and excitement when coming home from a long day of school. As our freshman year carried on, that glow quickly turned into a rain of sorrow and depression. Day after day, he would drag himself towards his house, dreading the fighting that awaited his arrival. The effects started to hit the extreme when his parents finally got divorced. He would isolate himself from everybody he once loved. He would begin beating his head on the wall until blood was visible as well as cutting himself on the arm for he thought their separation was his fault. He had a feeling of guilt and selfishness for he thought he took up all their time before hand, leaving them no time to live their own lives. No matter how many times I, his parents, or any other friends reminded him it wasn't his fault, he wouldn't believe us. It got so bad to where he started having suicidal thoughts. When his parents paused their fighting to help their child, they decided it was best to take him to the counselor.

As you could imagine with most troubled kids, Chris wasn't to thrilled on the idea of going to the counselor. The counselors main objective in his first session was to get to know Chris a little deeper so they may get comfortable with each other. At the end of his session, he gave Chris a challenge to go hang out with his friends at least one hour for three days before his next appointment. From then on, his counselor would give him a challenge every appointment he had. After a couple appointments, the counselor understood the full situation with his parents and how that made Chris feel. The counselor then set his main goal to make sure Chris understands his parents separation wasn't his fault as well as get Chris more sociable. Every week Chris would not only complete his task but began to be more outgoing with his peers. He started joining extracurricular activities outside of school, hanging out with friends til his parents were begging him to come home, and just expressing the person he was all along. The funny thing is that before the counselor, we could barely get a peep out of him, after, we couldn't get him to shut up! Chris began to realize that his parents separation was not his fault and he learned to cope with that by talking to both of them. After going through majority of his freshman year with counseling appointments once a week, Chris was ready to stop. 

That counselor met more than the world to Chris. He never tried to force Chris to do anything, but rather provided him with new ideas or opportunities to better his own well being. Though he stopped after his freshman year with the appointments, he still went to go see him whenever something was troubling him or even to just have a plain conversation. If it weren't for the counselor, I have no clue where my friend would be right now.

-Sorry but i didn't really have any social media to post this too so that's why it's an ordinary blog.

#PsychStory

How can I express my true appreciation towards the woman that brought me into this world? A woman that has been through hell and back just to get where she is today. A woman that has never had anything handed to her in her life. A woman who has sacrificed more than I will ever be able to pay back. How?

She was the oldest of six Mexican girls that lived in a house down in the valley that would maybe fit three people comfortably. She quickly filled into the roll of a third provider with her parents as she continued to grow. Waking up at 6:30 in the morning to make sure all her sisters were up and ready to go to school. After school she would practice her clarinet for hours upon hours til she heard near perfection, not because she had to, but because she loved it. Once she was done practicing, she would go to work for a few hours to help pay for grocery's and bills before heading home. 11:00 p.m., arriving at home, she would work on any homework, chores, or just anything else that needed to get done before going to sleep. Repeat.

After putting in those hours upon hours of work on her craft, she finally got a chance to play in the band at McNeese State University. She would be the first person in her family to attend college. She knew what the money situation was for her family, barely being able to feed everybody and provide the kids with enough clothes. With the scholarship money she would receive, and the money flow she would continue to receive with her still working, she would slave herself to allow her to go to college. Yet no matter how large of a workload she was under, distractions and problems continued to pile up on her.

Coming home from college, she would be welcomed to a house in pandemonium with her younger sisters getting sexual assaulted by their grandfather as well as some of the older ones getting pregnant while still in high school. Once of twice a month she would have to come home to not only take care of her younger sisters but also take care of her two nieces. Every step she seems to take forward in life are counteracted with the anchor of work and distractions that keep holding her back.

She wouldn't get that anchor loosened up until she branched off into her career as a musician in the Air Force Band and settled down to have a family. When looking back at all the gray hairs on her head I caused, I think of not only what she went through with me but all she went through towards ending up with me. All of the work and sacrifice she gave when it came to her family was indescribable. As I continue striving towards the goals I want to achieve in my life, I look back at my mom as an inspiration. She is a clear cut model of the hardest working and most caring person in the world. I wouldn't be the man I am today without her. And mom, if you end up reading this later, I just want to tell you I love you and I appreciate everything you did to get me where I am today. Thank you.